3rd July 2019

Your XXX week, 365 day old. “Motherhood” in numbers: things you do when your mum mate says her baby’s already sleeping through the night

12% smile in awe and wonder…

1% …to hide your deep suspicion

15% google stats about when babies should sleep through the night until you find the answer you’re looking for

13% ask for the EXACT circumstances in which her baby sleeps, right down to the colour of their Grobag

22% unpick what she really means by “sleeping through”. 5 hours? 8 hours? 12 HOURS????

11% resent your partner for probably being a bad sleeper when they were little and therefore turning your baby into a monster

13% decide never to speak to another parent again

12% decide that perhaps that was a little rash, so instead seek out some mum friends whose babies don’t sleep either (hint: coffee shops around 9.30am are full of us poor buggers)

1% remember that your baby is TOTALLY NORMAL AND AMAZING

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